Derek's Travel Blog

And so the Road to Morocco begins. My American flight to Paris was mercifully speared the recent delays because of volcanic ash. Lots of positive thoughts and prayers went into that one. We arrived in Paris only 20 minutes late and I still had plenty of time to get my bags and switch terminals to Easyjet. This is where things all started to go wonky.

In TYPICAL Parisian style we went down a jetway climbed down stairs and got BUSSED to the aircraft that was (no exaggeration) 2 gates away. Where we has to get off the bus and wait to climb back up the stairs By this point all the people who had paid extra for 'speedy boarding' were pissed as they were not on board first. And .... I'm quickly learning... you don't piss off cheap Moroccans or French.

But wait. It gets better...

I get on board and the old lady in front of me immediately asks for several motion sickness bags. The flight attendant didn't speak (I'm guessing) Berber so the universal sign for "I'm about to throw up" was used quite effectively.

Sitting next to I'm-sure-I'm-going-to-throw-up lady is a huge Arab man who has now proceeded to sing/chant/recite the Quran. He is not using his "inside voice" and the American guy (who looks like Woody Alan, but Not as attractive) has broken out into a visible sheen of sweat.

He sang/chanted through the entire flight announcements in French English and Arabic.

... But wait... it gets better.

Midway into the flight the guy sitting next to me pulls out his MacBook and decides that he is going to watch a movie. The only thing is that HE IS NOT WEARING HEADPHONES. So everyone around me; throw-up-lady, chanty man, Woody Alan and the child now kicking my seat are
Glaring at me because they think that I'm typing on my iPod and this must be where the noose is coming from. They can't seem him from their vantage point. Of course it's a war movie and the cabin is now full of sounds of explosions and gun shots. Woody is so scared now he is literally twitching

Note to self: no more Easyjet. I'm listening to Yanni on my headphones... And now the woman behind me just threw up on my shoes...